When the mind is in a conscious state it is relatively easy to handle a situation ( say a drunk person with whom you are not emotionally involved ) in a non reactive way. However when close to someone emotionally the ego is often awakened and the result is a return to the unconscious state. This can be a real problem when dealing with bad behaviour from a family member. The conscious person can see clearly and may act skillfully for a while but somehow the situation does not get resolved. Then the ego kicks in. " I am doing everything right but I just get walked over and he ( she ) just thinks I am weak" It is a real problem.
What we have is a mind which being a bit awake tries to act ethically and doesn't get a result. This causes confusion because the mind is awake enough to know in the past it would have reacted without thinking and would not therefore be literally in two minds. It is indeed a very uncomfortable situation. I suppose the answer is to try to make that awakened conscious mind more stable? Then again it may be appropriate to leave the relationship? I am still trying to work on this and may well have to give it more consideration and thought.
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